Courage is a quietness....
born of facing up to life.
~ Emily Sargent Councilman
It is amazing that it is already February 2012. So here finally is another entry.
My cancer marker CA15.3 continued to rise to 587 by 30th November 2011. The only positive was that the increase had slowed down. Plan was to go and have a holiday in Hawks Nest about 200 km north of Sydney and then retest the CA15.3 cancer marker and have bone and CT scans when we got back. Continued treatment as before.
We had a wonderful month in Hawks Nest with daily, one hour, beach walks. We walked either along the Nelson Bay beach or the main surf beach depending on where the wind was coming from. We were incredibly lucky with the weather as it has been a cool, wet and windy summer. At least we missed out on the wet part most days. The house we rented was right next to a lovely patch of bush and was light and airy with a lovely big deck at the front.
All my family were there for Xmas lunch/dinner. My mother lives nearby so she was there and my younger sister, Paula, came over from the USA for two weeks. My older sister, Yvonne, and brother in law, Lionel, also rented a house nearby for a week.
Our three dogs thoroughly enjoyed the beach walk and if the weather wasn't suitable we would walk them along the river. They are such a joy to have around. We started each day with yoga and meditation followed by a walk after breakfast. I was making fresh vegetable juices every morning as well. In the afternoon I would be quite tired and so I would stay 'home' and embroider or read. I finished my cross stitch of the Budgie Buddies. Most enjoyable and very relaxing when energy levels are low. Also read about 7 books. My back pain had increased somewhat and so I would need to spend some time lying down which was a good opportunity to read.
We returned to Sydney mid January and I had the bone and CT scans the next day. Got results on the following day and was totally shocked and horrified. I had gone from 4 bony tumours to too many to count! The black spots on the scan are the tumours. So mostly in my lower spine and pelvis but also upper spine, ribs, shoulders, skull and femur. Yikes!!! At least no major body organs were involved, liver, lungs, etc were still clear. Brain wasn't checked but I have no symptoms to indicate any brain tumours.
I still hoped that the cancer markers would be down. To me this would mean that the tumours had grown prior to my last treatment change in October/November and were now stable. Unfortunately it was not to be. The CA15.3 cancer marker had rocketed to 1558. The cancer was progressing exponentially. It explained the increased pain and tiredness. Otherwise I felt ok. So apart from the peripheral neuropathy in my lower legs and feet, pain in lower and upper back and pelvis and tiredness I felt in pretty good shape. Considering the tumour burden I now had and the extent they were involving my lower spine in particular, it was amazing I am a well as I am. My white cell count had also dropped with neurtophils and lymphocytes being below normal levels so my chance of infection had increased.
Next cancer marker test is in 3-4 weeks to see if any of this is working. In two months, all going as planned we will head to Germany for three different immunotherapies. Should take about three weeks. I am hoping to have improved from the chemo and with the treatment in Germany be able to spend a bit of time in Europe and then visit my sister in the US. It is possible that I will get really sick again from all this treatment and not be able to do much in way of sightseeing but I hope to at least catch up with some relatives in Holland again.
Overall I am still optimistic about controlling the cancer again and maintaining a good quality of life. I have certainly been enjoying the days, despite the incessant rain, and am incredibly grateful for each day, for my darling partner without whom I would not be here and who brings me such joy everyday, for my family who are incredibly supportive and for the dear, lovely friends who are in my life. There are so many things in my life to be grateful for that it eclipses the travails that cancer brings.
Surviving and thriving
Linda