In overcoming fear and sharing
our stories with others,
we find the truth about who we really are
- and discover that we are not alone.
we find the truth about who we really are
- and discover that we are not alone.
Good grief, can't believe how many months have passed since my last entry. My scan results in October really did hit me hard, emotionally. Also my monthly CA15.3 (breast cancer marker via blood test) has been increasing every month since then which hasn't helped my demeanor. I am coming good though, despite the results. My energy levels have been very good compared to the last couple of years. I can manage a lot more and though I still get pretty tired in the afternoons, I am managing a lot more physical activity. Getting back into some gardening which I really enjoy and that helps lift my spirits. Tai Chi classes have been on summer break but start again soon and I am looking forward to returning. Managing more walks with the dogs in the bush.
Treatment has not changed very much. I have started a different estrogen suppression drug, Aromasin instead of Arimidex. This has not stopped the increase in the cancer marker but apparently it can take a while to get going. I have increased the amount of Haelan intake and have added low dose Naltrexone once nightly (between 2am and 4 am). I have stopped chelation for mercury as it was not making any difference and the infusions of EDTA were making me feel pretty sick on the days I did them. So now I do twice weekly infusions of 30g vitamin C and glutathion. Also twice a week intramuscular injections of Artesunate, once weekly subcutaneous injection of Polyerga. Coffee enemas twice a week - a different kind of long black. My tablet intake is down to 77 per day.
Main physical problems day to day are side effects of some of the drugs. Muscle cramping, joint pain, particularly hands and feet. Feet hurt mostly when I first get up and it is difficult to stand. That passes pretty quickly. Hands are sore most of the time. Insomnia seemed to be under control for a while, which I assumed was the thalidomide overriding the other drugs. Last few weeks insomnia is back so I have been up a lot during the night. Not affecting my energy levels too much so far. Weight gain is also a problem with about 1kg going on a month. I have gained 11 kg since last January. Now getting very serious about stopping that trend. Hard when two of the drugs I take increase appetite and seem to increase deposition of fat despite increase physical exercise. Mainly reducing carbohydrate intake at night and eating smaller portions. I am doing as much exercise as I can manage. Have had some back pain but do not think it is the tumour in my spine unless it is referred pain. Get some discomfort in my armpit most days but it is not debilitating. Only occasionally does it get more severe and feels like some one has stuck a knife in my side. Muscle cramping was severe for a couple of months but somewhat better now. Again mostly affecting hands and feet but also legs and back. Quality of life generally is really pretty good.
Emotionally have been trying to stay positive and enjoy my level of wellbeing and life in general. Counting my blessings so to speak. Mostly I am pretty good although struggled a bit for some weeks last year after my scan results. Have had a few lovely holidays. Went to the Blue Mountains west of Sydney and to Cairns, up north, with my mother, sister and a family of my sister's friends from the USA. Had a great time and the weather was perfect. Right between rainy periods and certainly no floods in sight when we went late October. Spent three weeks at Hawks Nest in December/January. We had a lovely Christmas with my mother, sister, brother in law and my niece, Alison. Most enjoyable. We had rented a house that allowed dogs and it was pretty comfortable and within walking distance to the river where we could watch dolphins coming in from the bay. Didn't spend a lot of time at the beach as it was often quite windy but still had a very relaxing time. We spent last weekend in the Blue Mountains. Managed to rent a cottage that allowed our three dogs, last minute, spur of the moment thing and again were very lucky with the weather. A friend who lives up there took us on a lovely bush walk with stunning waterfalls where we could take the dogs. Four people and five dogs all having a great time.
Australia Day was this week and we invited four friends around for a fish barbeque lunch. It was a very hot day and we all ended up in the pool. It was a relaxing and enjoyable time despite the personal difficulties several of us are having. That seems to be the trick. Living in the moment and enjoying what we have around us at any one time, not worrying about what might happen tomorrow and being truly grateful for what we have today.
Having said that.... my next scan is next Tuesday, a blood test for the cancer marker on Friday and a visit to the oncologist the following Tuesday to reassess treatment based on the results. Meantime I feel inspired to catch up on maintenance around the house and garden that has been somewhat neglected. That helps keep me in the moment and gives me a lot of satisfaction in seeing the results of my efforts.
I still feel my motto is relevant
Survive and thrive!
Linda
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